What happens when a psychic medium has a dream—a lucid dream—a visitation—from a loved one that passed?
Well, let me tell you about my own experiences.
I keep a journal of my visits with my loved ones, from my cherished grandparents, friends, old boyfriends, clients and my very outrageously comedic father. And now, I will add to my dream journal, my beloved Mother who passed away five months ago.
I look so forward to visits in the dream state to see what my loved ones are up to and the inventive ways they come to me. My favorite was a couple of years ago when my father, who had passed three years before, showed up in the most imaginative way!
I was in our childhood home giving readings. There was a knock on the front door—along with the song KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR. I was so surprised when I opened the door and saw my Dad! He walked in, we hugged, he did not say a word—and he disappeared—for what he was famous for actually, as we often called him the great disappearing artist. I woke up so happy and laughing! It was entertaining, creative, and something that was SO HIM!
As much as I loved my Father, I was less attached to him thereby making my dream visits fun and not painful.
But something happened recently that I was not prepared for. And I’m wondering who else shares my experience. I’m betting anyone who has ever deeply attached to someone who is no longer physically here has had this occurrence.
My Mother passed away a few months ago. We were extremely close and incredibly bonded. Before her illness we would talk about the way we would connect when she passed. I told her not to worry, that we would be able to connect all of the time and it would be easy.
My naivety was palpable. I did not or could not imagine a world without her or that my grief would be so devastating that even seeing her in a dream was too much for me to handle.
Every day family, clients, friends, former patients of my Mother’s all would ask if I had seen her yet. I would always answer ”not yet.” People have the idea that as a Medium it would be natural to begin seeing our loved ones right away and that is actually what I thought too. But for me, that was not happening and I would answer that my grief was in the way probably preventing it.
Night after night I would ask her to please come to me in a dream. Approximately five months after my Mother passed, I finally had a lucid dream visit.
My Mother, my husband and I were all having lunch just like we used to do. My Mom looked absolutely beautiful! She was the Mom I knew before she became so sick. We were laughing, talking about everything, having such a good time together. Suddenly, I realized that she had passed and it was almost too much to bear. I started crying in the dream telling her I was so sad without her. She understood but clearly could not do anything about it. She was always the one who fixed everything and this was something that could not be changed. I was so upset in the dream that I woke myself up sobbing. I could not go back to sleep and was upset for the next two days.
The knowing she was not coming back made me overwhelmingly sad.
As a Medium and Psychotherapist, I am astounded at myself that I had NEVER anticipated that kind of emotional pain by connecting to my Mother in a dream. In fact, I assumed it would be just marvelous! It was at that moment that I realized that if it could be painful for me than it was more than likely that it could be painful for other people to connect with loved ones—just as I also know how wonderful it can be to connect in the dream state.
After sharing this experience with my wonderful Stepmother she was shocked and told me of her recent lucid dream with my Father, her beloved husband. She described a theater that was full of people watching a play. After the play was over, all of the people headed out and the lights were turned on. She was the only one left in the theatre and sitting next to her was my Dad!
At first, she was so excited to see him! Suddenly, she had the realization that he had passed and he was not coming back. She became so upset during the dream when he had to leave. She said it woke her up and she too dealt with the unexpected grief that accompanied this visitation—and he has been gone over five years.
I figured I scared my Mom from coming back—understandably so—but interestingly enough she came back a few days ago in my dreams. Although I knew she was gone in the dream I was so happy to see her. I think I made a bit of peace, for now, with her passing. I realize most therapists would say this is processing her loss, possibly it is. It feels like it will be a lifetime of shattering sadness combined with life going on with good moments.
So what have I learned? Grief can hit at anytime—Including the dream state. But there can be incredible encounters in the dream plane too and those are the ones I look forward too.
This experience has opened me up to a deeper sense of empathy for loss, attachment and the work I do.